The Feeling
OF THINGS WE HELD DEAR
This series is about the literal and figurative feeling involved with how messy life can get. It’s about how we grow through that mess.
We leave behind what doesn’t suit us anymore yet those things that have-been leave an imprint in the foundation of who we become.
As your eyes dance around the surface like an iSpy book, I hope you reflect on how the chaos of life has helped formed your foundation.
There are 4 different collections within this series and a total of over 34 paintings.
If you’re still busy on your pursuit of more, skip straight to the paintings or stick around to read more and see the series in context.
These pieces started as an outlet to find some of the rich texture of life that dissolved into everyday-sameness of the pandemic lockdown.
As I kept creating these, the series became about so much more.
You’ll find precious toilet paper, flowers, leaves, scraps of paper, old window screens, paint pallet scrapings, 300 million year old fossils hidden within these pieces.
Scroll to bottom for a list of materials.
Collection: White
In the beginning, I slathered these paintings in white paint. It represented the monotony of the sameness we felt day in and day out.
For the early pieces, I finger painted and scratched with my nails. For the later pieces, when some of that texture of life returned, I switched back to using a brush and brought in dark grey, purples, and neon pink.
18x24
As I added to the series, it became about so much more.
The texture I was layering into these pieces became about how we’re impacted by the things we leave behind.
While working on these, I was contemplating the impermanence of, well, everything and mulling over the complex nature of our expectations.
Collection: Grey
It’s about the complex mix of love and joy with betrayal and grief. The confusion. The chaos.
It’s about the emotions involved in process of losing our old world, our relationships with others, our younger selves, our babies.
The impression that’s left behind.
Some of these pieces are about the things that were meant to last and the feeling of grief when they do not.
Some of these pieces are about things that come and go. They bring something to us while they’re here but they do not last, nor were they meant to.
Collection: PInk
Neon pink is a symbol for the vibrant potential hidden within us throughout my work. This third set, or collection, of paintings in this series, bring the hidden potential to the surface.
These are about reaching for that potential and bringing it to the surface. Saying fuck it and just going for it.
Collection: Orchids
The fourth set, or collection of paintings, in this series is more minimal. This collection captured the beauty, simplicity, and fragility of the orchids.
It’s my way of saying sorry to them for not lasting longer — and appreciating the fact that even if my thumb was green, they’re still not meant to last forever.
5x5
5x5
5x5
5x5
Technical
Almost all of these are on 1/2” or 7/8” wooden cradled boards. Unless otherwise noted, they’re acrylic paint and mixed media. There’s a few that are oil paint.
These can hang in any direction and so they will be signed on the side and the back instead of on the front.
The texture is created through a variety of materials. Read below for the symbolism.
They’re adhered to the wooden board with gloss medium and then painted on top of.
Early pieces were finger painted. Later pieces were painted with a brush or a mix of finger paint and brush.
Making these is a messy process. I coat it all in gloss medium (it’s like Elmer’s glue but more plastic and stronger) and smoosh it around on the board. I have bits of medium stuck to my hands for days after making one.
“Feeling” is used both physically through the texture but also conceptually as this series is about emotions.
Materials & Inspiration
Paint pallet remnants, leaves, flowers, plants, pencil shavings, citrus and avocado bags, string, tissues, toilet paper, plastic dinosaurs and lizards, pacifiers, pencil shavings, hair clippings from the coivd-at-home-salon, 300-million-year-old fossils, packing materials, excess paint from my “dot maker” (these dot paintings explore the nature of truth and became an adept symbol here too), scraps of old favorite clothes, tea bags, coffee grinds, the guts of an old pillow, a screen pulled off an old door found on the curb during bulk trash day, craft materials from an abandoned idea, the upholstery fabric from a chair from the 1850s, old house keys and credit cards are all found under the layers of medium and paint.
FOSSILS
Here’s a little peak into sourcing the “dinosaur bones” and why I chose fossils as a symbol in these pieces.
Hidden in many of these pieces are fossils. Although the animal they come from is long gone, we still have an artifact – this little shadow of its impression – that remains in stone.
The same way that things we read or experience when we were young seep in and become part of the way we view the world and who we are, these little creatures were living right here 300 million years ago. Even though we don’t normally see them, they’re part of the foundation of the earth. Deep under the ground where we’re standing right now.
It becomes just one layer on the earth as it continues to evolve, grow, and become what it is today. If we know where to go and what to look for, they’re sitting right on there surface in plain sight.
String, Thread & citrus bags
Connection. A thread of universal human feeling connecting us all. Citrus bags represent how everything is connected and tied together, even when it starts pulling apart.
PACKING MATERIAL
Something that served its purpose of protecting and delivering something but then is tossed aside.
Old clothes
A favorite. Something that brought joy and to some degree, identity. But that has been worn through or grown out of.
FlowerS, LEaves, Coffee Grinds & Tea Bags
The remnants of things that were not meant to last but brought us beauty, joy, or comfort while they were here.
Toys
Toys and pacis here symbolize the fleeting nature of our childhood. I feel like having had a toddler during the pandemic really underscored how fast time moves. When we remove many of our normal rituals that mark the passing of time and days fold into each other, we look up and realize these little babies have turned into big kids in a blink.
The dinosaurs mixed with fossils became an interesting statement about story. These giant beasts once ruled the land, and now they’ve become a story. A small plastic toy that sparks imagination and play. In turn, a fictional story is created through the act of playing.
Blocks are also about building our lives and building ourselves into who we want to be block by block. Dice are about risk and chance.
Dot stickers
These symbolize the patterns in our lives. Sometimes they’re regular and predictable. Sometimes they jump and skip around. Often they’re beyond our consciousness, hidden below the painted surface. Occasionally, they’re right on the surface and easy to see.
Toilet Paper
Expectations. Never in a million years would we have thought toilet paper would become a scarce commodity.
If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll probably dig the In Pursuit of More series page.
Commission
Reach out if you’d like to talk about creating a special piece to commemorate a moment from your life or a painting layered with your own materials. Email, call or text 512-537-4618.